they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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