He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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