i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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