He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
