I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
