WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My ass is underappreciated
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