nut hugger
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
