I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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