He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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