does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
