My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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