naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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