whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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