Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Acid is not a monday night drug
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
