It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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