Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize