His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
