there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
