Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
