dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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