it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize