Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
