Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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