Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize