did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
