I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i would punch a child for taco bell
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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