Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
