Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
