got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
