This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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