and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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