Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
