So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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