bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
50% drunk capacity currently
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize