So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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