we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
only you would photoshop your dick
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
