Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
