About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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