Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
