You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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