Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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