should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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