you would pick up someone in the library
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
