i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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