THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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