If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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