They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Boobs are out for the taking
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
