I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
