They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The ass gains better be worth it
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