she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
