YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
only if we run a train.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...