Soap is not a condiment
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.