I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
