I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
