Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
