If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
