I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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